I told myself that I would start going through all the clutter downstairs today.  I told myself I would get the dishwasher loaded, start a loaf of bread baking, go grocery shopping, and then begin sorting through all the junk/toys that have accumulated downstairs since our previous trip to Goodwill last summer.  I told myself I would do all of that, and earlier this morning, I truly believed I would.  However, the only thing I’ve done on that list is go to the grocery store.  After all, the jalapeno poppers cannot bring themselves home from the grocery store.  Priorities, people!

The rest of the list is silently mocking me from my perch here in the kitchen.  Instead of just starting something and letting the momentum take me from there, I am on my computer, browsing through stores and checking Craigslist to see if there is something I might need (or wish I needed.)  I am practicing the fine art of procrastination.  Or maybe I should say avoidance.

I think what has me really locked up is the fact that I have realized there are only a few more weeks until I start work.  I always begin summer with grand ideas of what to do with the seemingly endless weeks of free time I’ll have.  And then when reality hits and I waste several days/weeks doing pretty much nothing, I panic.  I get depressed about it all.  I do nothing.

That whole course of action doesn’t seem to be working out well for me.

But you know what does work well?  Writing it all out for you — and the entire Internet — to read.  Boy, nothing motivates me to stop whining and get moving like actually reading the words in the screen.  So maybe I’ll start with the dishes and see where that takes me.  But don’t be surprised if I end up right back here, browsing and clicking.  It’s my comfort zone.

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