Open mouth… oh heck, don’t open mouth.

I seem to suffer from foot-in-mouth disease.  I have the ability to say either the completely wrong thing, or the most inappropriate thing at any given time.  It’s a skill I’ve managed to hone over the years, only to get better at it as time goes by.

I guess you could say that I’m not the worst sufferer of this foot-in-mouth disease, because I’ve managed not to alienate everyone, but nevertheless, I do suffer.  Most of the time I say something that, while not totally offensive, leaves a person confused.  They either wonder what I’m talking about or why I said what I said.  And when I see the confused expression on their faces, I know that I have done it yet again.

Those things that I have said, those inappropriate comments, haunt me.  There are times when my mind wanders or situations remind me of past situations and, boom, I remember what I said before and I cringe.  I wish I could go back to those times and just say something else.  I wish I had a whole arsenal of appropriate things to say during any given situation, any given conversation.  Instead, I am left feeling like I was a total heel or maybe a socially stunted moron.  Yeah, socially stunted moron seems like a more apt description.

So… you know… this is my way of apologizing to you.  If I’ve said something wrong, I am sorry.  Also, I am sorry for what I will inevitably say.  Because I will inevitably say something I shouldn’t.

(Also, when I am being a moron, please call me on it.  Say, “What?”  (When appropriate, of course.  You’ll know when, because I’m sure you all are much more polished than I am.)  Please don’t smile and let it slide.  Because when I realize that someone has been patronizing to me, I feel all the more awkward.  I am not afraid to laugh at myself and admit my mistakes.  If no one calls me on my stupidity, and I later realize what a moron I have been, it makes me feel just that much worse.  Those are the moments that come back to haunt me.)

 

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2 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by sara on 05/02/2008 at 11:40 am

    i think you are perfect!!!! don’t stress over that stuff…..those of us who love you really love you!!!!

    Reply

  2. Posted by Dad on 05/02/2008 at 2:42 pm

    What Sara said……well, maybe a little lighter on the perfect part.

    Reply

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