For hire.


The people. 

The people who spoke with me about keeping their child. 

Those people chose someone else.

*sniff*  *wail*  *waaaaaaaaaaa*

They said they interviewed someone who had 2 children closer to their child’s age and they decided to go with that person.  And while I don’t blame them for making that decision — I think I would have, too, were I in their position — I can’t help but feel like they just said I wasn’t good enough to watch over their child.  It feels like a blatant rejection of my skills and personality.  And I feel so awful about it!

Part of me — the rational part — knows that they made the right decision for their family, but another part of me — the wholly irrational part — wants to call them up, or maybe go to their house, with a posse of personal references so I can convince them that I am very good at what I do.  I want to have them see that I am just what they need, gosh darn it.  I want them to beg me to watch their child because OMG WHO WOULDN’T WANT TO HAVE THEIR CHILD TAKEN CARE OF SO WELL?! 

(Don’t worry.  I won’t do any of that.  Because I feel like a scary stalker babysitter who won’t take no for an answer is not necessarily someone other people would want to hire.  You know…I just get the feeling it wouldn’t be good.)

So I’m back to square one.


One response to this post.

  1. Posted by sara on 04/22/2008 at 2:00 pm

    that just means there is something else out there that you are supposed to do. don’t rush it, it’ll happen!!!!


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