I lied. But I have a good excuse.

So apparently, I am a liar.  Yesterday I promised that I would have pictures up today, and here it is, today, and there are no pictures.   And I could also lie to you yet again and say it was because I was too busy, but I’ll stop my untruths and just let you know that I didn’t get around to it.  Maybe tomorrow there will be pictures.  Maybe?


A few weeks back the lady I babysit for informed me that she was seriously thinking about quitting work.  That would mean I would be out of a job.  And while I’m kind of happy that she’ll be doing what she wants to do, I’m unsure about doing something different.  The little boys I babysit have been here for over 2 years.  They’ve gone from an infant and a toddler to a toddler and a preschooler, almost kindergartner.  I’ve watched them grow, and I feel sad that I won’t watch them grow even more.  I keep imagining running into them occasionally and not even recognizing them because of how big they’ve gotten.

But….but, I am very excited about the possibility of being able to do something — anything — I want to do.  I can choose to work from home again, or out of the home.  Heck, I can even wander the streets begging for money if I am so inclined.  The possibilities are endless.  And endless scares the ever-living sh*t out of me.  I am not the type who flies by the seat of their pants.  I am the plan, and them plan some more, type. 

Also, it is killing me because, you see, the mother has not decided for sure whether or not she’ll stay at home.  She’s not 100%, and therefore, I’m in limbo.  And limbo, also scares the sh*t out of me.  (Along with many, many other things.)

So I’m a little preoccupied right now.  I’m playing several different scenarios in my head, trying to be prepared for whatever will eventually happen.  Because if I’m not prepared, well, then I am nothing.

One response to this post.

  1. Posted by Dad on 02/27/2008 at 8:03 pm

    Ah, but is it the point to have something to worry about? If there is a chance of a worry you will find it. It’s what you do.


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