Shocking.

You know, I wish I could outfit my children with shock collars.  Nothing that would hurt them — Good God, what kind of person do you think I am?  Oh, don’t answer that — but something that would just give them a little jolt to stop them for a minute; long enough for them to think twice about what they’re doing.  For instance, when one child is about to hit the other, it would just be a little BBZZTT and then they would refrain from hitting.  Or maybe when one of them was yelling way too loudly even after I’ve already told them to be quiet a bazillion times — just a little BBZZTT and them, bam, quiet.  Oh, sure, you’d probably have to turn the shock up to high when you first start using the collars, but once the kids got the message, you could probably turn it down fairly low.  Or, I don’t know, maybe have it randomly alternate between high and low?  Keep ’em guessing?  That should keep them in line.

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I have had several people come to this site after searching for “The Cure – Pictures of You.”  I did that one entry, the one with their video, and now someone new comes to my site at least once a day after searching for it.  Well, it’s good to know that The Cure is still so popular.  It’s good to know that however many years later, people are still enjoying such an awesome song.

Also, I’ve had one person come here after searching “stinky ferret poop.”  And while I’ve never written about stinky ferrets, or their poop, I guess the fact that this site popped up on their search means that I’ve talked about poop one too many times.

And the searches for “Chevy Uplander Tires” are numerous, just showing me that I AM NOT THE ONLY PERSON WHO HAD A PROBLEM WITH THESE UPLANDERS AND THEIR TIRES!  (Can you tell I’m still a little worked up about it?)

Oh, and a lot of people who are searching for “cutting long hair” (or something close to that) come here to read about me getting my hair chopped off.  I’m curious to know if, after reading what I’ve written, they are encouraged, or maybe discouraged, about getting their hair cut.  And for the record, I think I’m growing mine back out.  Because no matter how many times I get it cut and say that I think I’m going to keep it that way, I still miss my long hair.  I think it’s just a part of who I am.  But it still won’t stop me from getting it chopped off again another year or two down the road.  That’s just how I roll.

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I’ve been working on using some sign language with one of the children I babysit.  He is not using a lot of words yet, and is getting very frustrated by his lack of communication.  Or maybe I should say, my lack of knowing what he’s trying to communicate.  I do not know sign language, but have gotten a signing video and also have looked up several signs on the Internet.  And he’s really picked them up quickly.  Quicker, in fact, than I expected him too.  But sometimes he makes a sign or two that resemble rude gestures.  And while I’m trying to show him the correct way to sign the words, I still can’t help but laugh when he does something that can be misconstrued as not-so-nice.

I really am a bad person, aren’t I.

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2 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Dad on 12/05/2007 at 8:51 am

    I’ve read about the basic signing that little kids use. Even at 6 months. They do pick it up very fast. They are such mental sponges. Good luck keeping up with him. That collar idea is not a new idea. I think every parent (secretly) wishes for one. The teen years come to my mind.
    Oh, and The Cure rule.

    Reply

  2. Posted by Husband on 12/05/2007 at 1:58 pm

    Well I see you let the cat out of the bag. All your readers up to this point probably thought of you as a tender soul and now they see the not so nice real you. I still love you though, even if you’re sometimes mean. I shudder to think you would want to shock our angelic, considerate, and loving children. Funny how when they do good deeds they are your children,and when they do evil deeds they are mine.

    The Cure is lame.

    Love you,

    B

    Reply

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