Duh, cable.

We’ve been having problems with our digital cable for several weeks now.  It has gotten to the point that, if it wasn’t such a hassle to submit a request form for a sattelite dish to our Home Owners Association so they could tell us where, how, and when to put the dish up their asses on our house, I would totally be enjoying my new Direct TV right about now.

The cable man came out to the house today (for the second time in two weeks) and basically just unplugged our cable box and plugged it right back in.  Then, Ta-Da, fixed.  And he stood there and asked me, real carefully, if I had tried to reset the system before.  To which I wanted to say, “Wait, you’re saying that box right there controls my cable?!?”  But in reality, I told him that we had tried that several times, and we had also called the 1-800 number and had them send a new signal to our box.  And then we’d tried leaving offerings for the cable gods by the box, only to have the cable gods rebuke us and leave the food and money we offered untouched.  (Okay, so not the last part, but we did stop just short of trying that.)  He then carefully explained to me how to unplug the box and count to 60 while waiting for it to reload.  Also, he told me I could unplug it either from the wall or from the back of the box–whichever I found easier–because both ways were ways of unplugging the box.  This last part he said really slowly and carefully, as if I wasn’t really sure about the whole working of plugs and electricity.

So thanks, cable guy, for coming and fixing our cable.  And while I’m sure it will stop working at approximately the same time you cross the threshhold out of our neighborhood, I do appreciate your help.  Also, I’m giving you the benefit of the doubt, as to why you told me such painfully obvious “hints”, by assuming you deal with some real idiots during the course of your day.

Now, how is it I do this again?  Hold the power button down while I count to 60, then unplug it?  Why isn’t it working?!

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