Done. (Done?)

When we moved to this house a little over a year and a half ago, it was with the understanding that I would find a job.  What I really wanted to find was a job working at a preschool, just like the one I had before we moved.  (Which, guys, was the best job ever at the best preschool ever with the best people ever, and it also gave me the summers off.)  Needless to say, I didn’t find anything that compared to the place I was working before, so I decided to go a different route.  I replied to a flier in our postal center –we don’t have the standard in-your-yard type mailboxes here in our neighborhood, just a central postal center with all the boxes in one building– that someone had put up, seeking a stay-at-home mom to take care of a 5 month old a 3 year old.  And after several meetings, I began to keep both children in my home.

I never set out to be a In-Home Childcare Provider, but I did want a playmate for my daughter.  I didn’t want to start her in a new preschool with only a few months left in the school year.  I thought that having other children around would help keep her social skills refined, and also give me an opportunity to earn a little extra money on the side.  I looked forward to being able to be home for my children and also work.  It was the best of both worlds.

It was the best of both worlds, until it became too much.  And I struggled and struggled with whether or not I should just move on to something new, or keep on keeping on.  I had days when I thought I wouldn’t be able to do it anymore.  Days when my own children needed me, and I could give them only half of my attention.  Days when the other children needed more attention, and I was only able to give them half.  Then I had days when everything just flowed along nicely, and I counted my blessings.  But, those days are all coming to an end for the summer.  I am quitting my job, taking a hiatus (maybe.)

I told the family I work for that I would have to take the summer off.  I need to work with my son so he is ready, academically, for school next year.  I need to teach him how to tie his shoes (he may be the only seven year old who doesn’t know.)  And I need to spend some quality time with just my children.  Whether this family decides to resume our situation come fall or not is up in the air.  I told them I was okay with that.  And I told them that I’m not closing the door on them entirely, I just need to give my notice for now.

And while I felt very bad for dropping that bomb on them on a Friday afternoon, I did feel like I needed to give them as much notice as possible.  I also knew that I wouldn’t be able to sleep at night this weekend if I held it all inside.  So it’s done.

I’m done.

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5 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by sara on 06/02/2007 at 10:06 am

    do you have that sense of relief yet? i know whenever i have a desicion like that once i finally do it, i feel that “weight” lifted off of me and i feel like i can breathe again!!!!

    you guys are going to have a super summer!!!! =) they are only this age once so enjoy it!!!!!!!!!

    and davey has ZERO interest in tying his shoes……that’s on our summer “to do” list as well…….

    LOVEYA!!!!!

    Reply

  2. Posted by Melissa on 06/02/2007 at 3:48 pm

    Don’t feel badly…Darren is 8 and cannot tie his own shoes! This summer I am officially instituting as “The SUmmer of Darren.” Because I am blessed to be off for 3 months, he is going to learn how to tie his shoes, get dressed by himself, swim, ride a bike…all lofty goals, but all long overdue!

    Reply

  3. Posted by e on 06/02/2007 at 4:07 pm

    Oh you guys…I feel so much better now about the shoe tying thing! I was really worried!

    And I do feel a little relieved – relaxed, even – that I am doing what I need to do with my kids, but I feel AWFUL for the family. I’m not sure if they’ll want to come back this fall! I know I’m leaving them in a lurch, but I’m just going to have to grin and, um, bear it. 😉

    Reply

  4. Posted by Sara's Mom on 06/02/2007 at 7:51 pm

    You did the right thing about taking the summer off. You do need time with your own family! I taught one of my kids how to tie shoes and somehow they other two learned. I think it was a ripple effect. Anyway do not worry he will catch on when he is ready to do it! Now, go enjoy your summer.

    Reply

  5. Posted by Lindsey on 06/02/2007 at 8:13 pm

    Good choice! You need some time to yourself and your family. I know how frustrateing and tiring daycare can be and I think you make the right decision. If you would have kept on, wishing you weren’t watching kids, you would begin to get angry at little things just because. I know, I did it. I wasn’t smart enought to take a break when I needed or just get out. A break is good, and if you decide to pursue something else, more power to you. Take a deep breath, and go play with YOUR kids alone!

    Reply

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