He feels meh, I feel meh.

Today I am dealing with a 3 year old who, for the first time, has decided he doesn’t want to come to my house. He comes over for 10 hours a day, 5 days a week. That’s a lot, and I seriously expected him to not want to come some days. But now that it’s happened? I’m upset.

I’m upset, firstly, because I want him to enjoy coming over. And secondly, because I don’t want his parents to think he’s mistreated in any way. Honestly, I think that’s my biggest fear – That the parents will think I’m not doing a good job with their children. Because I treat the kids the same way I treat my own (and sometimes better,) I feel like it would be a direct reflection on how I am as a parent. And that’s also a big part of who I am. A parent. I don’t want to feel like I’m bad at it.

I’m worried they will think their son is mistreated because he suffered his first major fall this week. He’s had some minor head bumps and some bruises on his shins (he’s a kid, they do that), but this week he hit his ear. And that ear is now sporting a gruesome looking purple bruise. It really looks like he took a major fall. And he did – he fell off of the kitchen chair and managed to hit his ear on another chair just so. It was swollen and purple. Ouch!

Of course, I didn’t witness the fall. I had my back turned and was heading in the opposite direction to fetch a crying baby. So there you go – he was not properly supervised and dangerously playing at the kitchen table. Oh the gross mistreatment(!) and negligence on my part! But all kidding aside, I feel awful.

I really think the “not wanting to come over” is based more on the fact that my son has been home from school this week. It has messed with the routine, and this boy loves a routine. I think he’s sensitive to change, and he’s just feeling off. But what do I do about that? My son, he lives here, and will be here every day when school is out for the summer. That’s going to be a big adjustment for this little boy. And also, it’s hard on me and the remaining kids. I had to tell my kids to take it easy with the little boy today, and pretty much give him his way. Because he’s littler, I said, and also, he’s in a bad mood today. But we can’t do that every day. It was really hard to pull off. It’s also unfair to me and my kids (and the little boy.)

I hope this is just a passing stage for him, and that we can get back into a groove. I would hate for him to have to come over to a house he doesn’t want to come to. And I don’t want to put myself (and the kids) through the work of keeping a child who doesn’t want to be here. It’s kind of a killjoy, really.

So, meh. Just feeling a little quiet tonight. Introspective maybe? But I think it’s best described as meh.

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